OH COME ON!!!!!

So today I had an interview. Now as a normal young woman this would be an exciting prospect. I imagine I would get up in the morning and have a shower, do my hair and makeup, poodle down to the interview feeling nervous excitment.

But, as a parent of three small children. It takes a lot of strategic planning, rushing, coersion and a big heaping of luck. Thats just in order to get you to said inteview. Actually getting the job requires divine intrvention.

So I have my shower the night before, There will just not be time during the morning mania. I get up early to do my hair in a style other than 'mummy scruff bun' and paint foundation over my pale worn out complextion. I wake the smalls and the chaos begins "I cant find my shirt!!!" and "where are my pants??" Im doing breakfast, shouting at kids to get a wiggle on.............................and searching for my feckin passport!!!!!!

ahhhhhh its vanished off the face of the earth!!!! AND WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES HENRY!!!!

finally we make it to the car, were all in. But its totally frosted up, so im out freezing my tits off trying to thaw out the car whilst ranting at the smalls that were going to be late!!!!!!

we get to school and all three smalls are safely deposited into the care of their teachers. I get back to the car............NOOOOOO!!!!! it wont start!!!!!!

"oh dont do this to me, I still need petrol before I go to my interview!!!"

Finally my Billy blue car stutters back to life and we make it to the petrol station. Just to discover the lock on the petrol cap is frozen and the key wont turn!!!

ah ha!! I summon the fat ginger teenager from the car in front. unfortunatly he gives a feeble attempt before pissing off to buy some more haribo!! useless.

I know, I will spray some de-icer in the lock.................No, thats oust you dick!!! and your gong to be late!!!!!!

So im giving it my best "turn you fucking piece of shit!!!" whilst twisting the key with all my might. when a pair of gloves appear on the roof and a voice behind me says "I cant just watch you struggle, let me help"

I turn, and Im face to face with an adonis of a man!!!!!!

"Sorry I dont usually swear like that...........oh, ok, maybe I do"

he laughs and with a small twist the petrol cap is off and im on my way.........Hurrah, Im saved and I made it to the interview ontime!!!! a small miracle and a first for me!!!