TAXI!!!!!!!!!

So its been a whie since I blogged and a lot has happened in that time. Dont worry, I wont bore you with it all. The eldest has been diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome which is pretty shitty actually. The youngest is NAPPY FREE!!!!!!!! yiiipppeeeeee............ and the girlchild has had all her hair chopped off and been nit free for a good few weeks!!!!

I really must change the name of this blog.........

So yesterday my poor Billy blue car decided he was going to get sick :(
His breaks failed...........yes whilst I was driving!!!..............
and he is now in car hospital awaiting collection today.

So the smalls and I visited my cousin with the help of public transport. something we have not done since 2009!!!.............and now I know why!!!

The taxi arrives and the kids are all like "Yeah, we're going in a Taxi!!!!" look at us all suited and booted in under 2mins and waiting nicely by the door!!!!!!

I let the shock of this slowly seep through my veins.........

Then we get in the car and the'yre being super cute "This is a white car isn't it mummy?"  yes my angel child it is, clever boy!

I start to ooze smug parent as they sit angelically in the taxi while I strap them in.

"Aren't they good" remarks the cab driver and I smile politely letting my 'parent of the year' grin radiate.

Then I get in the front next to the driver. A young smartly dressed indian chap, we exchange smiles. I try to avoid outwardly chocking on the entire bottle of cK1 that hes felt the need to douse himself in, and look out the window.

He starts up with "Do you work?"
my most favourite of questions.....I now have three possible answers here.

1) none of your fucking business!!..........seems a bit harsh, hes only trying to make conversation.
2) no, but I have three children under 7. Want to swap?
3)lie and nod politly.

I opt for three and briefly tell him about the volunteering I do........ So send me to hell!!........

He then replies with "Do you have a partner then?" HOW FUCKING RUDE IS THAT!!!!!!
But I smile and nicely say "Not at the moment".
 "Oh what does that mean?" he asks!!
It means not at this moment in time dickhead!.! You will be pleased to note I didnt actually say that! I was, remember, trapped in his car. What I actually said was "haha *cough cough* you dont get this kind of inquisition on the bus!!"

That shut him up. Ah, good silence, I can go back to starring out the window.

Just in time for the aspergers to become too much for S, and he feel the need to start jibbering in his best punjab accent!!!!!

"S shut up!!!!!!!"
"what? i'm practicing talking like the man!!"
"well dont!! its rude!!"
"why?........doesn't he like how he talks then?"

Great im now inches away, starring face to face. With the cheap fragrance loving, perv of a cab driver!!!

Fortunatly he tries to rescue the situation
"Did you see that new programme on channel 4 last night?"
Shit!! no I didnt. Wonder if I can blag it?

Ahhh its ok, he informs me I can catch it on 4 on demand. And then spends the next 15mins of the journey explaining just how this works and what a modern day miracle 'on demand' is....................

THIS IS WHY I OWN A CAR!!!!! PLEASE GOD LET IT BE FIXED!!!!!