I set off on my big Norwegian adventure the next day. Being an incy bit nervous of take offs and landings..........oh ok, a gibbering fucking wreck during takeoffs and landings!!!!! I try to avoid flying alone. But having not seen my sister for 7 years and never having met my niece and two nephews. The £30 airfare swayed my decision and off I pissed, alone to Norway.
The flight out was ok. The six hour wait in the airport the other end, was boring as hell!!!!!! thank god for a fully loaded Kindle and a mummykins who bought it (see that nice bit of crawling, I know she reads)
So finally its time for the train. And, Christ what a train!!!! This train was like a fucking space shuttle!! complete with bar and cafe including 1940's reproduction leather armchairs!!!! and a view that made me gasp out load. Here have a sneeky peek
So anyway, Im in awe from the second I leave the airport, to the second I board my flight home!! My sisters house is like something off a TV show or an ideal homes magazine...............she is coming over to mine in october!!!........so.......errr.......hahahahahahahahahahahaha........yeah, I'm sure she wont notice the difference!!
Her children are so well behaved, although I cant speak a word of Norwegian. Apart from the words for 'poo' and 'fart' in which my 5yr old nephew delighted in trying to get me to say hahaha. so I wouldn't have known if they were misbehaving or not. They are so active and outdoors and not frightened of a thing!! let me put this in contrast. I currently have 1 child laying on the couch watching TV (he already been on the naughty step once today. The others are whining for orange juice and despite the glorious weather they are convinced its going to rain today!!!
So anyway, I've had a fantastic week away. I've eaten better than at any other time of my life, I've laughed so hard in my sisters kitchen i nearly wet myself, I've navigated my way from London to Kristiansand all by my fucking self!!!! and just to Irritate you all with gushiness "I feel epic!!!"
But all too soon its over and I'm boarding the train home. Sad to leave and as ever totally convinced I'm living in the wrong country. Weather this fuels the fire for yet another house move remains to be seen. I arrive back at the airport and spend the weekly shopping budget on a burger and chips!!! and then I sit quietly reading my kindle and wait for the flight.
Along comes Mr ego "can I sit on this table or will it break?"
I glance up at him. A middle aged fat man with too much hair and shades on!!!
I shoot him a look which hopefully says "Its a table, your considerably heavier than most people your age. yes it will probably break, so fuck off!!!"
he sits down anyway........... I go back to reading. Which I'm hoping conveys my disdain for this creature perched on an airport side table.
apparently not as Mr ego begins to speak at me for the next minuets. He's working at a festival you know. "Norway's, Glastonbury" yes he actually said that!!!!! I point out that Glastonbury is held in a fuck off big field in the middle of nowhere and his festival is being held in a building in the middle of the capital city.
He doesn't hear me. He's too busy name dropping all the celebs hes best friends with. As I'm so enthralled in the conversation I decide to count. He name drops 15 times as we climb the stairs the board the aircraft.
yes, I got stuck next to this moron for the entire flight and again in the passport queue.........I only managed to escape by hiding in the ladies loo!!!!
I'm Glad to be home, But wow what a great trip.
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